When will it be me?

Avril Lavigne - The best damn thing

Today was a very very sober day and it was right. Now I officially swear that I will NEVER drink any alcohol on Tuesday in this semester. No, I know it's Wednesday. But today I have Roman law class with the strictest teacher of mine. And it would be bad if I were worn out because of partying and I have to write a test or something. Or even just think. Basically, he is strict, but he is my favourite teacher. So I have to show him that I still can do study in a high level. Actually he made me take up law as a second majority. I decided it last year when I studied for the exam of his subject and when he gave me a five (the best mark) on the exam. That was the time I made up my mind. And surprisingly he remembers me. At least he knows that I already passed a course that he taught. It seems his legendary good memory is real. Anyway, I mustn't dissapoint him or myself. I have to study Roman law hard. Really hard. No matter, what it takes.

I respects him a lot. Not like those bastard, egoist idiots, disguised as handsome, long-haired guys. Just look right through me and hardly say even hi to me. But if I complained about it, he surely wouldn't understand my problem. Fuck off! Just like a second Edel... but I won't make the same mistake again. No way! Damned Gyapjaska! Damned Edelka! I hate dickheads like you all! Go to hell!

Otherwise, I always say, I'm fine alone and such and I like to believe that, but somewhere deep inside I often wonder why I nearly never liked by any guy? Why does no one ever see me? Am I really that insignificant? I don't think I would be such an ugly brat or anything... I wonder why... It's a bit annoying though. Why my roommates, my friends are often asked out by different guys and why I'm not? Anyway, I really think there is no problem with me. But why than? Maybe it's okay this way after all. I don't need any guy! But why it can be...?