2011. március 21., hétfő

Love me for me

Hilary Duff - Dreamer

Another type of boy I can't stand. Why do I have to meet all of my nightmares disguised as a guy? There he is an egoist fool who made me fall for him and now I am his puppet. Because I am. No matter how much I hate it. He can make me move so easier like a marionett. But today I don't want to write about that. No, not again. Not this time. Today about someone else. Just a newcomer in my life. A newcomer who needed only about three days to get into my nerve.

Actually I assumed he is not for me only after a few hours. Now I am sure about it. At first he was just annoying. I was just like what the hell? He talks about his incomes, his ownings, his family, his education, his day, his bad habits, his hobbies, his scores, his everything. Yes, everything is about him. He said, he is very serious and he wants me to know everything about him. But I don't think that is the way. It won't get him closer to me. He cannot make the road shorter anyway, no matter how much he wants it. He just talks about himself this and that and only I could say is so what? Why should I care? Why do you talk about such things to a totally stranger? I would ask him, but I say nothing. And next day I realize he is not only annoying. He is a fucking stalker! Checking my facebook, checking my family through it, checking my interests, checking everything. Fuck! That sucks! Luckily he cannot find out my number and address. Otherwise, surely he would come to my home, I bet. Fucking scarry! But it can be worse. I am still okay, but here comes the turn. On the third day he asks about my style in clothing and such. And he thinks I am not elegant enough to him. So he will be a bit more informal he says and we can go to buy clothes for me together. WTF? But he isn't joking.
Damn, he doesn't even know who I am! He just talks and talks and doesn't care about me. It's okay, I don't talk, but still, it sucks. Really. He just saw some photos about me and imagine a personality for me. But what if I am nothing like that? He doesn't give a damn about it. He just wants me to transform into the girl he imagined. Hell no! I won't! There's no way for it! There is a saying sound something like "It's better if you hate me for what I am, than if you love me for what I am not.

I am just me. And I won't change for anyone else but me. So if someone doesn't like it, too bad for him. I can show him the door and that's all.

I wanted to be nice to him, really. I tried. I kept my comments to myself. I just thought, hey, I don't even know him, he deserves a chance. But he lost it at the beginning. It won't work out anyway, I know. Maybe I should put an end to it, because maybe if I let it go further, he might be dangerous. But not in a way like that Belorussian bastard. In a more dangerous way. That scumbag only can harm me with breaking my heart and such. But a stalker like him can be harmful even physically for me and even for my family. I don't know him at all after all. I don't know how further he can go. I must be beware. But maybe he will be bored with me sooner than this happens. Who knows? Maybe I will keep it up for a while, just to see what happens. Damn, why do I like playing with fire so much?

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